Friday, November 6, 2009

"Time Will Pass"

8 comments:

  1. This person helps you picture the scene very well.

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  2. I like the Discription it adds alot to the poem, and time does fly by!

    (Andrew)

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  3. "I trail along behind my dad,
    thinking about yesterday,
    when we went kayaking with other people
    so it wasnt as special" This poem makes me feel bad for her that she doesnt have many special times with her dad. "This uncomman time together is precious" I feel sad

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  4. Dear Colleen,

    Your poem "Time Will Pass" sounds like a very descriptive poem that should have some describing of how you felt when you were kayaking and it wasn't special! Explain how it wasn't special! Like did you just wanted it to be you and your dad or something else. And describe the background you were in or were you where! LIke where were you kayaking and what did the place look like!


    -Angel

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  5. Dear Colleen,
    I love your poem!
    I can picture every single detail you put it.
    " Our cottage awakens. Sun pours through the open window and into my pale room. '
    AND
    " I push my paddle deep into the dense water "
    (: i love it.
    -Marina J

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  6. dear Coleen
    time will pass
    I trial alogn behind my dad,thinking about yesterday.why did you say (when we went out but with other people so it wasn't so speial) why wasn't it so special.

    from Tyler w

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  7. Dear Colleen Connell,
    I read your poem "Time Will Pass" and it was amazing! I loved the word choice and description you put in it. I felt like I was that person and in the poem. The word choice was great: EX: pours was a great one for that sentence: Sun POURS through the open window.

    "It is a typical summer day.
    Our cottage awakens.
    Sun pours through the open window
    and into my pale blue room.
    Light hits my eyes and for a moment
    I am blinded by its everyday brilliance."

    That part was amazing.

    From,
    Tori J

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  8. Dear Colleen Connell,
    I read your peom Time Will Pass and it made me think that you surely miss your father to the point that you would spend any and every time you had with him. I loved how you sad that the sun light was an," everyday brilliance".
    Cody.

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